who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
