I just made out with a guy for $7.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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