Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
