there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
