I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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