one might say we're banned from that church
sarcasm needs its own font
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
