What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i believe in u and ur pee
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
