you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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