so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How external is "for external use only"?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
