I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Bring me that man meat
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
