Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
