I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she looked like the before picture.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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