Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
