Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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