I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
