She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
