Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
40s are totally the cure
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There's even glitter on my cock...
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