It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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