Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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