Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
