Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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