Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
