Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
