I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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