dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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