I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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