i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
