I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
