How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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