YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
