i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
