Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
