i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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