Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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