WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
