I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
