tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
