did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
