now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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