Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
