New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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