I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
