The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
