girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
