I'm going to jail i love you
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Barsexuality is the new black.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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