): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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