There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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