Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize