Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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