Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
