dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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