Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
