Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
