Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
