so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
