Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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